So I realize I kinda left you all hanging last October.  I mean, I started telling you about my job during the re-election and then didn’t bother to tell you the outcome!  And I’m sure you’ve been checking back ever since, wondering, whoever won that little Presidential election??

Fine, it’s old news. I’m only four months too late to share my victory dance with you.  Which was a half-ass dance at best, considering we won the election in a state that is so bad at counting, the rest of the country just decided to call the whole damn thing without us.  Seriously,  pretty embarrassing.  I spent most of the night celebrating with my team in a county that started out blue, turned red, then….well, who knows, I’m not actually sure they even bothered to finish counting.  It was actually hard to get real closure on my win; days and days passed and we were the only ones standing in the corner, waiting to be colored.

Why are we always the purple ones?

However, not the point of this post.  I wanted to go back and let you know what I learned during my time on the campaign trail (I’ve been wanting to use that term for awhile; it *might* be the only reason I decided to write this post).  So here it is, in no particular order of importance – Shit I Learned During the Election.

1.  Elections bring out the best and worst in humanity

No surprises there, folks, but let me put it into perspective.  Florida is full of bigots and racists, let me make that perfectly clear.  Hardly a day went by that someone didn’t reveal their ignorant self by declaring that they wouldn’t vote for a black man who wasn’t even “from here.”  Who put bumper stickers on their cars asking that we not “re-nig” in 2012.  Or who tried to hide their racism by declaring that they “didn’t like Obama’s white side either!”

On the other hand, there were tons of folks who gave up their time to campaign for the candidate they believed in (Barack or Mitt) and were respectful of each other’s opinions.  I had lots of great conversations with conservatives that proved one thing – we all want the same thing.  Really.  We’re all in it for the same values but allow ourselves to slap labels on parties and use a couple of social issues to define us and divide us.  I’m not saying there aren’t legitimate differences between Republicans and Democrats, there certainly are these days, I’m simply pointing out that we focus on them about 1,000 times more than our similarities.

2.  People be lovin’ them some signs.

Seriously, there is nothing DeLand residents wanted more than a sign in their yard.  Most trounced in declaring they were sick of seeing so many Romney signs and needed to balance out the ratio.  Many came in after their signs had been stolen (HUGE problem in our area), looking to replace them over and over, just to piss off their neighbors.  Others wanted us to go on the street corners, much like the local Jesus lovers downtown, waving our signs across from the Romney supporters.

Here’s the thing about signs – the Obama campaign hated them.  Many of my fellow campaigners would have been happy never to see another damn sign in their lives.  Their motto?  “Signs don’t win elections, votes do.”  To them, having a sign in your yard was pointless.  Even more pointless?  Standing on the corner waving your sign.  And I have to admit, it makes sense.  When’s the last time you decided your vote because of a yard sign, or because people were waving signs?  I mean, that might do it for a couple of no-names in the local election;  given the choice, I’d probably vote for the guy I’d heard of, whether or not I knew that much about him.  But in a national presidential campaign…well, it’s not really gonna sway anyone.  What it DOES do, however, is bring up the morale of the community, and that is something we certainly needed.

One of my co-workers shared with me some research about campaign signs.  He said that it’s better when your side has LESS signs that the other guy, because it causes your constituents to go into defense mode.  They begin to panic and worry that their candidate is going to lose.  They decide they need to step-up their game, donate some funds.  Their worry translates into support for the candidate and they work to gain more votes for them.

I agree, that does make sense.  However, here’s the flip side of that coin.  When you’re in a state that is so heavily divided and your city has nothing but the competition’s signs up, you feel defeated.  You start thinking there’s no point in even trying, because obviously everyone is on the other guy’s side.  Why even bother to vote?  Yes, a little extreme, but it was the sentiment felt by many I spoke to.  You start to doubt the 50/50 divide of the citizens and start thinking it’s more like 90/10.

Either way, people wanted those signs and would stop at nothing to get them.

3.  You can’t send white people out into just any neighborhood

Like most cities, there are segregated areas going back decades; areas of affluence, where many whites live, and poorer, run down areas, where mainly those of color live.  Now, there are certainly poor white areas,  I’ll get to the trailer parks in a moment, but let’s focus on the minority neighborhoods first.

One of my co-workers was a white guy, quite tall, black hair and beard.  Kinda intimidating if you saw him walking around alone at night.  And actually, I should point out that the beard was a good thing; we all agreed that he looked like a child pedophile without it.  He came back from canvassing one day, and said the following to our boss (who coincidentally also had a beard):

BLACK BEARD:  So you don’t like me anymore?  Trying to get me killed now, eh?

RED BEARD:  What are you talking about?

BLACK BEARD:  The neighborhood you sent me out to – I got kicked out for being white!

RED BEARD: What?? HAHAHAHA!.

My boss, who is not from DeLand (or Florida), created all the canvassing maps, not knowing the breakdown in population for each area.  I had already warned him about doing this, told him to have me look them over first.  Because I already knew what he didn’t – you just can’t send out certain people in certain areas.  He, of course, laughed off my advice, declaring “I do what I want!”  A popular phrase of his during the campaign, to be sure.  So he sends our lovely co-worker out into a historically black neighborhood in DeLand, where he is stopped by everyone he sees.

ELDERLY WOMAN:  Baby, what are you doing here?

BLACK BEARD:  I’m here with the Obama campaign, giving out-

ELDERLY WOMAN:  No, you’re not.  You’re going to turn around and head right back to Woodland Boulevard where you came from.  Hurry now, before someone else tells you to.

Black Beard thought this strange advice, perhaps the woman had dementia, and continued down the road, where he saw a group of “youths” outside.

YOUTHS:  What do you need, man?

BLACK BEARD:  I’m here with the Obama campaign,

YOUTHS:  Obama!  Alright, man.

BLACK BEARD:  Yes, OBAMA.  And I’m giving out information on-

YOUTHS:  No, you’re not.  You need to get up on out of here, before someone else tells you to.

Seeing that this was the consensus among the young and old, and that he felt certain he would have been shot had he NOT been with the Obama campaign, Black Beard returned to the office.

So here’s the thing.  People get uncomfortable when they see outsiders in their neighborhood.  Some outsiders are easy to spot, they are white when everyone else is black, and some harder – they wear flip flops when everyone else has on dock shoes.  At any rate, people are protective of their neighborhoods, especially when they feel like the outsider is there to impact them in a negative way.  I’m sure your’e familiar with the gentrification that has happened in cities like DC, where all of the poor neighborhoods (filled mostly with people of color) have been taken over by middle and upper class folks (mostly white).  So there’s a little sensitivity when an outsider comes in.

The point it – you can’t send white people to any old neighborhood you want, at least not without some back-up (like me!  the “everyamerican” (copyright)).

The same goes for sending out minorities into the poorer white sections of town.  There were several trailer parks where I feared for my safety, and I’m half-white!  Luckily I had my all-white friend with me (“please ignore my little asian friend, she’s harmless”).

4.  There are a ton of democrats on the “down-low”

Going back to the signs for a moment, I told you that there were an over-abundant amount of Romney signs in my city.  The ratio of Romney to Obama signs just didn’t match the make-up of the residents; there were plenty of democrats in the area, our maps were filled with them.   So where were the signs of support?

Hidden.

It was pretty funny.  I’d go up to a house that has democrats living in it and knock on the door.

ME:  Hello!  I’m with OFA and wanted to know if you’ll be supporting our President in the upcoming campaign.

DL DEM (looks outside, scans from left to right)  In a whisper: Umm.  Yeah, yeah.

ME (turns around and looks behind us, trying to discover what they are looking at): Uh, is everything alright?

DL DEM:  No no, it’s cool.  Just don’t want to be too loud about it around here.  My neighbors…

ME:  Your neighbors?

DL DEM:  My neighbors…they aren’t too FRIENDLY to people they know are democrats.   If you know what I mean.

ME:  Oh, really?

DL DEM:  Oh yeah.  They steal signs.  They stop talking to you.  It’s best…it’s best if I just keep quiet.

ME: eh….

DL DEM:  How’s it been for you?  Everyone treating you well?

ME:  I mean, yeah, you know.  Good and bad experiences.

DL DEM:  Yeah, yeah, I know.  I’m proud of you for getting out there.  Good for you.  Good. For.  You.

ME:  Well….thanks for your support.  Have a good day.

DL DEM:  You too.  Stay safe, young woman.

Fine, I added the “young woman” part, but you get me.  So yes, there are democrats in DeLand…they’re just fearful for their safety.  LOL.  Sorta funny, but mostly sad.

They vote democrat, they cheer us on for the work we’re doing, but they’re not going to parade around the neighborhood with signs.  And they’re certainly not going to put one in their yard.

5.  It’s all or nothing in the campaign world

Working on a campaign is hard work.  Extreme hours, no days off, bad pay, constantly revamping your plans to reflect the results from the latest polls.

I kinda loved it.

Don’t get me wrong, I bitched.  A lot.  But it was exhilarating working on such a large-scale issue like the election.  It was all encompassing and took all of my focus.  I lived, breathed, and slept Obama.  No time for phone calls or happy hour with friends.  No time for TV (that wasn’t the news) or shopping of any sort.  Actually, I drank less during the campaign than I had in years.  A solution for alcoholics?  Probably not 🙂

The life of a staffer fits my personality; I work best when I’m up against a timeline and have a dozen things to do.  It’s only then that I effectively prioritize and put out my best work.  When I have little to do?  I’ll sit on my ass and surf the internet and end up “pinning” dozens of quotes from “The New Girl” and then jump on Hulu to start a new series.   Yup, that happens a lot when I’ve not got much to do.

Also, have a project with an end date appeals to me.  That’s why I liked school, in general.  It’s broken up into years and semesters, papers and projects.  You accomplish something and you move on.  I love moving in.  It’s probably why I’ve literally MOVED so many times in my life and prefer working in an academic setting where there is a beginning and end of the year.  It makes me feel like I’ve accomplished something.  Workplaces where you repeat the same tasks day after day, year after year…sounds like death.  Sounds like “Groundhog’s Day.”

Not for me.

Hmm, this might be the reason I’ve not settled down with anyone.

(Ha, I wish)

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There are SO MANY good political quotes from 30 Rock, it was actually really hard to decide on one.  I recommend you watch the “Unwindulax” episode from this last season, where they explore the Obama-Romney campaign and point out Florida as the deciding factor (and Jenna in particular).  In it, Jack attends a fundraiser for his Republican Super PAC, “Americans for an American America.”  He brings Liz to act as his chum (double meaning!) and incite the Republicans to donate more money to Romney.

JACK:  If you’re coming, it won’t be as Liz lemon HuffPo super-user and gun control lunatic. You’ll come as Liz Lemon, my chum.

And after Liz loses her mind with the conservatives, Jack pleads with the crowd.

JACK:  Gentlemen and token silent lady, we have to spend all of our wonderful money and help my hair mentor, Mitt Romney, become the 11th legitimate President of the United States.

Later on, Jack (and Tracy at the same time, in a different location), point out who’s really determining the election in the US.

It all comes down to Florida, which they dub “The Penis of America.”

It’s a fantastic episode, one of my favorites.

And because I love it when 30 Rock mentions Florida, which is a lot, here’s a bonus pic!