Until recently, my Mom thought that voicemail was the same as an answering machine.  As in, the message that you are leaving is being played out loud somewhere.  She knows that my brothers and I all have cell phones, so I’m not quite sure where she thought these messages were being aired – did she think that it played out loud even if we didn’t answer?

So, for many, many years, my Mom would leave voicemails for me in the following manner:

(NOTE: My Mom calls me “Na.”  She cuts off the first part of my name, Kristina, and just uses the last two letters.  Classy.)

MOM:  Hellooo!  Naa!  Are you there?  Pick up the phone! Hello?!  Naa!  Where are you?  This is your Mother!  Pick up the phone!  Hellloooo?? Na!!!  (CLICK)

Very funny to listen to – my friend, Luis, LOVES to call and leave messages where he pretends to be my Mom.  I tried telling her for a long time I can’t HEAR the messages when she is leaving them, but she continued doing it.  And if you didn’t call her back right away, she would leave more messages – each one escalating in tone.  There was no avoiding my Mom, even when I lived 1,000 miles away; the woman would find me.

Her phone etiquette leaves something to be desired.  She tends to end her conversations abruptly – as in, she doesn’t say goodbye, she’d just sorta hangs up.

ME: Hey Mom, I’m over at Megan’s house.

MOM: You at e-Megan’s house? (My Mother puts the “E” sound in front of all my friends’ names, don’t know why)

ME: Yeah.

MOM: Ok.

(CLICK)

Now, she wasn’t mad at me or anything, she was simply done with the conversation.  I sometimes wonder if this is a Thai thing; she was born and lived there until she was 23.  Perhaps there’s a whole different set of phone rules there.  At any rate, she’s mostly stopped doing this, once I mentioned how it could be taken as rude, by some people.

When my friends used to call for me, my Mother would sometimes “flip the switch” on them.

MEGAN: Hi, is Kristina there?

MOM: Who is this?

MEGAN: Umm, Megan.

MOM: E-Megan?! No, she not here.  I don’t know where she is.  Do you know where she is?

MEGAN:  Umm, no, that’s why I was calling you.

MOM: If you see her, tell her to call me!

(CLICK)

Classic Mom, turning it back around on you.  At first my friends were taken aback by her phone mannerisms, but they’ve grown use to it – either than, or they have no idea what she’s saying anyways 🙂

Today’s quote comes to you from Season 1, Episode 9: “The Baby Show.”  I love this episode because we are introduced to Jack’s Mother, Colleen.  She is critical, overbearing, and opinionated – she is, in fact, awesome.  She and Jack’s relationship is probably my favorite on the show.  In this scene, Collen calls Jack….and gets through.

Liz: How long is Jack going to be?
Jonathan: He’s still on the phone…Area code 407?! Oh no! When did this happen?!
Liz: 407? Is that bad?
Jonathan: It’s fine! It’s going to be just fine!
Jack: [yelling] Jonathan! These cheap phones keep on shattering!
Jonathan: [to Liz] You can go in now.
Liz: No!

Jack: Who let 407 though? Jonathan, we have drills for this!
Jonathan: Liz distracted me!