Ahh, Winter Madness has arrived….up North.  Yeah, down here in Flor-da, we’re doing just fine with our 80 degrees, sunny-all-the-time weather.  Actually, it is a bit warm.

My friend, Melissa, writes about her detest of winter clothing on her blog this week.  The endless layers, the fact that sweaters and boots do nothing to make her feel sexy… I had to laugh.   She reminded me of winters past, spent in Boston and DC.  Hell, I even wore a sleeveless dress – with flip flops! – this week in her honor.

I spent the last nine years living outside of Florida – I was in Boston for six years and DC for three years.  But not all at once.  It was more like this:

FL -> Boston –> DC –> Boston –> DC –> FL

I get a little restless sometimes.  But I like how I went full circle!

What I took away from my time there, one of the things anyway, is how damn long the winter is.  I distinctly remember my first winter in Boston; it was my first real winter.  The first snow?  It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  I had never seen snow falling (I saw it once, but it was already on ground, not as fun), so this was A BIG DEAL.  My roommate, Beth, and I ran outside at 6am, high on excitement.  We were those people.

We lived in an apartment complex, right on the Green Line (city living), where there was only a small median between the sidewalk and the streets.  We were playing in the snow, with no gloves, video taping the experience.  God, being a Floridian who laughs at tourists at Disney with their crazy-ass outfits and Mickey Ears, I know exactly how ridiculous we looked.  However, it was awesome.  I’ll never forget it.

So, some thoughts on Real Winter:

1.  Layers are ANNOYING – Besides being an unexpected expense (who knew how much coats were!?), clothing in the winter is a pain to go out in.  While it might be 15 degrees out, it’s nice and warm in the bars/restaurants so you end up taking off 75% of your outfit and trying to sling it over a chair.  Or, you have to check it – and being from FL, I had never checked anything before.  So I was skeptical about leaving my stuff with strangers and then tipping them to keep it.  However, the worst was when you were out with nowhere to sit and you end up throwing your winter gear in a big pile with a dozen other people (your friends, strangers, homeless people), and just hope that your shit doesn’t get grabbed by the wrong person.  Or worse, stolen.  I lost my FAVORITE coat at an Irish pub in DC.  I left it laying in a corner with other people’s stuff and when I went to leave, the jacket was nowhere to be found.  “Maybe someone confused it with theirs?” you might say.  You would be wrong.  It was a PURPLE wool jacket and it was LARGE – no average girl is going to grab that thinking it’s hers.  To this day I’m certain a large pretty boy walked out of that bar with my fancy purple coat on.

Oh, and walking home with no coat in January?  NOT FUN.

2.  College Girls (and slightly older) still dress like strippers. – Hey, I’m not gonna lie.  When I was 22 in Boston my friends and I walked out of the house in mini skirts and tube tops.  Just throw a jacket and scarf on, you’ll be fine ’till we get there.  Yes, and that works…up until a point.  That point being when it’s: FIVE degrees, the wind is blowing UPWARDS, you are basically naked from the waist down (who needs tights under this dress??) and in high-heels trying not to break your ankles on the cobblestone next to Fanueil Hall.  Once you do that a few times (hey, some people are slow to learn), you’ll give up your dreams of being sexy in the winter.  

4.  Snow is RULL Cold –  Snow is so pretty, you just want to lay in it (see above).  But beware, that is frozen water.  Yes, obviously one should know this.  But when you’re caught up in the seeming fluffiness of it all, you’ll throw yourself down into a Snow Angel, without really thinking about the ramifications.  Namely, that frozen water going down your jeans.  COLD!

And don’t touch it with your bare hands.  Beth and I were so stupid on that one.

4.  It’s long.  Really long.  –  As excited as I was to experience snow and cold and all that jazz, I kinda forgot about how long it stays cold.  I mean, months and months of cold weather.  My birthday is in June, so I figured that the weather would be awesome by then.  Nope. I clearly remember going to a beach on my first birthday in Boston; it was cold and foggy and windy and wet.  I was not impressed.  I think this was the point where I went from being “Miss Mary Florida Sunshine,” (a co-worker called me this) to an Angry Northerner.

3.  Seasonal Affective Disorder is REAL – Being “Miss Mary Florida Sunshine,” I had the pleasure of growing up in a city where it was sunny 99% of the time.  You noticed when it cloudy for more than a day – it was strange.  I mean, even when it rained, the sunny was out like 15 minutes later; sometimes it even rained in the sunshine!  So adjusting to this Winter Madness, not easy.  Not only is cold out, but it’s DARK.  I went from being in school in FL – where I was outside a lot of the time, to working all day in Boston – where I hardly ever got outside during the day.   To leave the house when it’s gloomy out and come home when it’s dark…it gets to you.  I could feel the sunshine draining right out of me.  It got to where I didn’t want to do anything but snuggle up on the couch, with my warm (fattening) foods and not move for the night.  I eventually started to force myself to go out – the layers! – but I certainly wasn’t happy about it.  After 4 years in Boston, my doctor told me I had low Vitamin D levels.  You know, the same Vitamin D that you get from being out in the sun.  I remember glaring at him, saying “OH REALLY?  I WONDER HOW THAT HAPPENED?!”  I wasn’t really depressed at that point, so much as I was officially an Angry Northerner.

5.  When it’s over, it better be over.  – See, we’ll take the winter.  We’ll tough it out for those four six months.  But when it’s supposed to end, when it’s supposed to be Spring/Summer, it sure as hell better be nice out.  That first day of Spring, when it’s warm (47 degrees) and sunny (you can see a glimmer of sun) for the first time in half a year – people will BUST OUT into the city.  They will put on those running shorts, throw the kids in the strollers, and camp their un-tanned asses on The Common.  And they will be so happy.

Which is why they do not take bad weather, outside of Winter, well.  If it even looks like it’s going to rain, they pitch a fit.  At first I didn’t understand.  It’s only a little rain, it’s just DRIZZLING.  But they acted like a Hurricane had planted itself into a perfect fine July day.  And you know what?  They should.  After six months of being stuck inside, they deserve that sunshine!  Give them the sunshine!  (Especially when it’s June and your birthday)

All of that to say, I do miss the Winter from time to time.  Especially when I see people posting about the fun stuff – first snowfall in the city, skiing at Sugar Loaf, ice skating at The Frog Pond, watching it all from a warm fire indoors with some hot chocolate…SNOW DAYS!  I even miss my scarves 🙂

Liz Lemon has a couple of complaints about January; namely, how it impairs her ability to judge men.

JACK: Good morning, Lemon.

LIZ:  Ugh. I hate January.  It’s dark and freezing, and everyone’s wearing bulky coats.  You can do some serious subway flirting before you realize the guy is homeless.

Work is awful.  Everyone’s snippy and tense.

JACK:  Well, the lack of sun makes people depressed.  It’s called seasonal affective disorder.

LIZ:  Oh, is that where the word “sad” comes from?

JACK:  What?  You think “sad” is an acronym invented by psychologists?

Watch it here!