In case you couldn’t tell from my blog, I’m a big fan of 30 Rock.

Actually, the biggest fan.

I love 30 Rock so much I named my blog and post titles after quotes from the show.

I love it so much I have all the seasons on DVD  and watch them every night.

(Tangent:  I actually tried watching other shows/movies at night, but none of them could keep my attention. I didn’t want a drama, I definitely needed something light and comedic, and it turns out there are not a lot of shows I like every epsisode of. Like, not a single one. I did How I Met Your Mother one night, but it bored me. And don’t get me wrong, I like the show a lot, but I just couldn’t take watching them more than once. This doesn’t happen with 30 Rock.)

I love it so much I quote it to people whenever I feel it’s applicable in a situation.

(Which it turns out is all the time. It’s like Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except only one degree, since I can relate anything to the show.)

I love it so much that I went into a deep depression when they stopped making the daily calendar.  Honestly, it was the only reason I showed up to work many days.  A quote each day!  It didn’t get much better than that.

I love it so much –

I want to take it behind a middle school and get it pregnant. – Tracey

You might find that last one extreme, and highly inappropriate, but then you’re obviously not a fan!

As I was saying, I own all the seasons and watch them every single night. No people, I’m serious. I can’t sleep without the TV on and, as we all know, there is nothing good after midnight (especially when you don’t have cable). So I put in one disc each night, press PLAY ALL, and proceed to watch each episode at least once before I go to sleep. And then? Then I start it over again; it plays continuously through the night. As in, I wake up in the middle of the night and repeat it. Multiple times. So not only have I seen every episode, but I’ve seen them dozens and dozens of times! I watch it in my sleep!

I’ve watched them so much, I can pick out discrepancies in the storyline.  For example:  In the Valentine’s Day episode in Season One, Pete states that his wife’s birthday is February 14.  Then in Seasons Four’s “Anna Howard Shaw Day” Pete claims that he can’t pick Liz up from oral surgery because every year they rent a big suite in Niagra and his wife takes the kids there while he gets wasted in their garage.

It’s what keeps the magic alive. – Pete

Granted, he didn’t say this Niagra vacation happened specifically on Valentine’s Day each year, but it still seems odd that she’d not be there on her birthday.  It’s implied on the episode that this vacation occurs every February 14.

Yes, I know, I’m crazy.  But I’m using my crazy for good!  Unlike Floyd…

You used Ghostbusters for evil! – Liz

See?  Everything can be tied back to the show.

So you can imagine my extreme sadness when it was announced that this upcoming season will be the last. Not only that, but it will be a shortened season; the horror, the horror!

But I understand. All good things must come to an end. You shouldn’t run a quality show into the ground *cough* The Office and Grey’s Anatomy *cough* just because it has the ratings and you want to continue to profit from it. So I understand and agree; it’s time.

However, this leaves me with a very limited window in which to fulfill an item on my bucket list – to visit the set of 30 Rock and serve as an extra in an episode!

This is THE DREAM, people!  I can think of nothing else I want more, and I’m including world peace.

If I could push a button and five people in the world would die but I’d get free cable for life, I’d do it. – Liz

They don’t currently have a contest for the biggest fan. Or at least, not a public one (as I’ve created my own private one, right here!). So you see, it’s all up to me to make this happen. Well, me and a bunch of you. That’s right, we’re taking it to the streets!

And by streets I mean the interwebs.

My goal is to have this post reach 30 Rock . Specifically, the writers and producers. More specifically, Ms. Tina Fey.  You can’t love 30 Rock without her; she created this magic and is therefore my heroine.

And by heroine, I mean lady hero. I don’t want to inject you and listen to jazz. – Liz

I had the opportunity to tell Tina about my “biggest fan” status, and I failed.

After writing “Bossypants,” Tina Fey did a shortened PR tour; there were only two stops! One was in NYC and the other in DC, where I happened to live at the time.  Not only did I get a ticket to the event, but I showed up early enough to sit in the second row. She was literally a foot away from me when walking to the stage! And when I say literally, I don’t mean figuratively, I mean literally.  She gave an interview and then took questions from the audience – this was my shot!  I got in line and decided on a question. Having read the book before the event, I could have asked a very informed question about it. I knew what I wanted to ask her – I wanted to find out why she wrote so little about Mean Girls. It was her first screenplay and she only mentioned it once in the book, for a couple of sentences. I found that odd. I thought maybe she didn’t mention it more because of Lindsay Lohan. And I don’t mean that in a negative way; it’s just that she was the star of the movie and things have been rocky for her lately (does four years count as lately?).  Perhaps Tina decided not to touch it at all.  Otherwise, I don’t see why she wouldn’t have given it another paragraph or two – how she came up with the material, what it was like to see it all come together on the big screen.  Something along those lines. But I digress.

Anyhoo, I decided not to broach the subject, in case LL (Lindsay Lohan, not Liz Lemon – didn’t realize they had the same initials ’til I wrote that!) was a sensitive subject. Instead, I told her what a big fan I was of the show (should have said the biggest!) and asked her to give us a spoiler or two.

I had my second chance to profess my obsession with the show when I got in line for the book signing.  I began tp prep myself as to what I should say.

Tell her your favorite lines from the show!  Ask her to pronounce your name like Oprah!  Give her a hug!

My turn came.  I walked up to her and said the following.

Thank you….thank you. Thank you. Thank you…..Thank you! – Me, the dipshit.

Seriously, I just kept repeating “thank you” to her. As in, thank you for signing my book. Thank you for being here. Thank you for creating the show. Thank you for making me and the rest of America laugh. Thank you.

But I didn’t say the other stuff. You know, the stuff that would have made a little more sense. I just kept repeating that stupid phrase over and over.  It was almost as bad as when Kenneth met Seinfeld.

Almost.

I’m sure that given more time, I would have gone “Liz meets Oprah” on her –

I’m trying to adopt a baby but my job is making it impossible because my work-self is suffocating my life-me. I’m Liz Lemon and I lost my virginity at 25. I saw the show about ‘Following Fear’ and it inspired me to wear shorts to work. It didn’t go great. Do you know Tracy Jordan? Meh, I took a pill earlier. I didn’t get my September issue of ‘O Magazine’ do you have the number for subscriptions? Haha, why would you? Blah! I eat emotionally.  One time at summer camp I kissed a girl on a dare but then she drowned!  Aaaand here comes some more stuff. I hate my feet, and one time I had a sex dream about Nate Berkus but then halfway through he turned into Doctor Oz. Has that ever happened to you? – Liz

Yeah…maybe on second thought they shouldn’t let me near her.

I’m such a big fan, they even considered my name (Kristina) for Jack’s daughter!

Ok, I’ve gone too far.

I just love television so much. – Kenneth

In closing, I believe that my dedication to, and totally valid obsession with, the show merit a trip their studios in New York and the opportunity to be an extra on the show!  I am asking anyone who reads this post to forward it to their friends, in the hopes that it will reach the good people of 30 Rock.

Also, in case there are other competitors, I am willing to compete for the title of Biggest Fan.  We can have a Page-Off!